Self Care in a Time of Upheaval, and Some Thoughts about the Shadow

​It feels like everyone is writing about the pandemic, racism and the protests against police brutality, so it feels like I have nothing new to say about it here. And yet, it feels wrong not to mention it here, to ignore what is affecting all of us every day. What I am doing is trying to educate myself, to read books, attend workshops, and to talk to people about what I am learning. There are so many resources out there. Beyond learning about the ways in which I have been blind to my own racism, and trying to figure out how to do things differently, I am learning how to support black owned businesses and figuring out what actions I can take to fight racism. It feels very small but I am learning and taking it a step at a time. 
 
The other part of what I can try to do is to offer ways to be kind to ourselves during this trying time. In the face of such horrible news every day, it is hard not to get overwhelmed at times and to feel hopeless about the future. Yes, there are people out there on the front lines fighting every day, both against the coronavirus and against all the ways in which racism shows up in our society. We have to do what we can to witness them and support them and where possible, help them to take care of themselves. But even if we are not on the frontlines, we need to take care of ourselves, so that we can show up for those around us in the best way that we can. 

Sneak peek at a new flip doll I am working on, along with the Befriending the Shadow class. This one is about the earth as a living being and the impact of human exploitation of resources. I'm working slowly on this doll, using meditative stitching....

​In the Befriending Our Shadow class that is currently ongoing, I am blown away by the courage of this group of women as they confront various aspects of the shadow, both internal and in the world around us. And as always happens when I offer workshops, I learn so much from witnessing the growth of the participants. It’s not easy work-just like the shadow of racism in the world outside, internal shadows can be sneaky and slippery and hard to pin down. There is a sort of trickster quality to the shadow because in looking at the shadow, we are threatening its very existence. Self-care, self-compassion and kindness become paramount. And taking time to rest and just be. 
 
So here are some small steps that I can suggest to help in being kind to yourself while dealing with the shadow aspects of the current world situation-whether you are on the front lines or at home trying to care for yourself and your loved ones. 
 
1. Take time to do nothing, much harder than it sounds. Maybe that nothing is lying down on your yoga mat in savasana or “corpse” pose. Maybe it’s looking into your child’s eyes. Maybe it’s staring at the clouds in the sky, from a window or if you can get to a park safely, lying on a blanket on the ground.
 
2. “Visible mending” this is something I have learned from my friend Julie Booth, intrepid stitcher, fiber artist and teacher of all sorts of stitching methods. This can be quite simple, requiring just a torn pair of pants, a torn shirt or some other piece of clothing, a needle, scissors, some thread and patches of fabric that you have in the house. There are all sorts of stitches that you can use out there-look it up on You Tube and you will find a great variety. I tend to mostly do something called back-stitch. This kind of slow, mindful mending can be very soothing and meditative. And the benefit is you get to repurpose clothes that you might have otherwise given away or thrown out. 
 
3. Listen to audible books. A few years ago, I discovered a free app called Libby, where you can download books to your phone from your local library. You can listen to books while walking, doing dishes, and any other task that might otherwise feel tedious. I have kind of gone overboard with this, and also have been able to listen to some books about racism (see my comments above) with this app. I just finished So You Want to Talk about Race by Ijeoma Oluo. Very powerful and accessible. And I attended this townhall called REIMAGINING SMALL BUSINESS: A town hall to listen, learn & commit to building equitable, anti-racist organizations. 
 
4. Interview a parent or grandparent about their story. I just finished interviewing my mom about her life and now am figuring out how to get it printed. This is just for our extended family. It has been a wonderful experience talking to my mother over the last year or so, in weekly calls on FaceTime and sometimes on the phone. I started with a list of questions from a resource about Oral Histories but then kind of just followed her lead as she talked about what meant the most to her about her life. I learned so many new things about her and we also deepened our relationship. 
 
5. Make a simple flip doll (for yourself or for a child.) Sorry, I had to put that in here. It doesn’t have to be very complicated. I have a pattern available on my website, along with a brief history of flip dolls. But you don’t have to buy anything. You can make a flip doll out of a wooden spoon or a sturdy stick, and attach heads (made out of rubber balls with holes cut out, or stuffed socks, or sea shells-use your imagination!) to either end and then use found fabric cut in a circle to make a skirt. Consider simple themes such as light and dark, happy and sad, earth and sky. Do it quickly without a lot of thought. Or take your time. 
 
Thanks for reading. After this Befriending Our Shadow course is over, I have to decide about next steps. I have missed being able to focus on being in my studio as much as I would like. I notice that when I am teaching a workshop, most of my energy seems to go there. But at the same time, my art is enriched and inspired by what I experience in teaching workshops. They do feed each other. I want to offer more on-line classes, that’s for sure. I feel like I have something to offer that is of interest and that can help people. But I also want to get back to a body of work that I had started last year and get it organized for a show. The dolls that I make are also a kind of service, but in a different way. I will keep you posted here. Stay tuned.